Thoughts From A Day in the Mouse Trap

As a Southern California native, it feels un-State-riotic and a little embarassing to confess that today was my third (not twelfth or one-hundred-and-seventy-second) trip to Disneyland. Nor did my previous visits quite drag me into the "OMG dinneylan' is the best thing EVARR!" social club-- but today I opened my heart and mind and accepted an invitation to go. So, after spending today in the Mouse Trap, I've come to an eclectic mix of conclusions:

1. Creating experiences is an art form. And Disneyland is to that art form what sky scrapers are to architecture. Disney pulls out all the big guns-- of art AND of technology-- in order to make it happen for its clients. Animatronic EVERYTHING, projections on smoke screens, pristine streets and surreally maintained buildings, makeup and costume, silhouettes and light tricks, every conceivable way of replicating an explosion, and the ingenious engineering of staff members' perfectly-in-character presence (see 2). It's damned impressive, that's what it is.

2. Disneyland has at least half of the characteristics of a cult. (Here I refer to the employer/industry, rather than the exchange between staff and customers.) This isn't a criminal accusation by any means-- if you've ever worked at a summer camp, for example, you understand that the imaginary line between 'cult' and 'culture' is completely meaningless. And cult-ure has valid logistical necessity for large-group management. At any point, Disneyland is coordinating THOUSANDS of 'cast members' in order to maintain the Mouse's microcosm. (Though I'm hardly Princess Popular, about a dozen of my friends and acquaintances have done time at Disney over the years-- and as far as I understand, my cultic references echo popular dressing room humor). Of this list, I'd personally defend numbers one, four, and five, and at least the last three, and add the notion of controlled/coded language which is often so vital in creating culture from the top down.

3. I might be an inductive platonist. This is not a thing; I threw the term together in an attempt to explain my philosophical reaction to Mickey Mice today. See, to entertain the folks waiting to get 'Mickey's autograph', they played a film reel in the lobby of 'his house' which showed all the versions of Mickey-- moving smoothly back and forth from new to old, from original to 3Dish ToonTown and back, with complete irreverence for chronology. And nobody winced. Nobody was bothered because it worked. It was valid. Even though original Mickey probably would not have recognized his modern manifestation, all of the artists were dancing around an essential Mickey-- not by imitating it, but by CREATING it. Who knows how Mickey will manifest by the time I'm taking (or not taking) my own kids to Disneyland... but every new version adds to the compiled picture, the constructed essence of Mickey.

The Latest Manifestation of the Mickey Form

4. If you so much as suggest that ANY attraction at Disneyland is even VAGUELY comparable to Space Mountain in awesomeness, I will punch you in the jaw. Nobutsurious. Why were those other rides even invented? (Ok, I'll give Indiana Jones the credit it's due here too-- if only to have a second-best to keep the supreme best-ness of Space Mountain in perspective.)

 If Disneyland ever goes back to its old pay-by-ride system, I'll be back for Space Mountain like errey Thursday (it proved an excellent day to go-- 15 minutes was my top wait time!). Until then, I am so happy to keep hanging out in the "real world", where only science, economics, history, sociology, psychology, and the government can create strange, fictitious representations of reality for me!

Had your own strange and maybe even slightly existential experiences at Disneyland lately? Do tell!  Comments are open!

~Ely