Five Reasons for Conservative Christian America to Calm the Flip Down And Give A Sexual Minority A Hug Today

This morning, the Supreme Court ruled that DOMA, a national act that forbade federal recognition of same-sex marragies, is unconstitutional and therefore no longer valid. The Supreme Court also confirmed the validity of an earlier court decision that overturned Proposition 8, a California bill which defined marriage as between a man and a woman. (More at NPR) While neither of these acts specifically legalizes intragender marriages on a national level, many are celebrating this as part of a larger trend that is strongly headed in that direction. Meanwhile, quite a few people are FREAKING OUT.

The logic of the most vocal Christian groups is simple: God designed marriage, and He designed it as a union between a man and a woman, both for obvious practical reasons, and more subtle spiritual reasons. If we affirm anything other than that as a nation, we're stepping out of God's will and into a very, very, bad direction. 

After a few in-depth conversations with concerned citizens, I feel compelled to write out some new thinking/talking points that center around the structure of this argument.

1. A Problem of Premise
   Marriage was created by God. It's a statement that Christians can and should celebrate, contemplate, and push themselves to live out. But beginning a dialogue with someone by asserting conclusions based on a premise that they have not necessarily accepted is fruitless and unwise. It not only fails to bring people closer to God, it offends the dignity that God has given them as thinking, feeling individuals-in-progress. Bartolme de las Casas, 16^th century bishop and incredible philosopher of Christian witness, asserted that the Church has no authority over those who have never willingly walked into her doors, into her family. The testimony of the Bible seems overwhelmingly to agree. That's why I'm proud to live in a place where the Church and government generally recognize and respect their unique jurisdictions.
2. A Problem of Definitional Discrepancies
   While I couldn't possibly accurately encompass the motivations of 4 million homosexual US citizens in a single blog entry, the overwhelming demand of this community is not marriage before God, but marriage before the state-- that is, access to tax benefits, social security standing, citizenship rights for the internationally espoused, and the social dignities we grant to a couple that has made the brave commitment of forging a life together. This, civil marriage, is a beautiful and noble thing whether undertaken by Buddhists, Hindus, Atheists, or Christians, but it is not the same beautiful and noble thing that two people undertake when they come before God to forge a spiritual union, a triangle with God at the head. The state does not and cannot require or even permit people to participate in such a divine marriage before granting access to civil marriage. This will always, always be the business of the Church, and, perhaps even moreso, the business of the two individuals and God. 
3. A Problem of Cultural Inconsistency
   Civil marriage has always performed the role of affirming the legality of sexual behavior, and many people are nervous about legitimizing acts that the Bible says are not legitimate before God. But the reality is, post-sexual-revolution, homosexual activity is legal-- as is sleeping with someone and then sleeping with their (of-age) offspring  (Leviticus 18:17), marrying someone, divorcing them, and marrying their sibling (Leviticus 18:18), and sleeping with a woman during her menstrual cycle (Leviticus 18:19). Worried that being part of such a heathen nation will exclude you from God's blessing? Well, these things-- and a lot more-- were all also legal under 1^st century Roman rule, and Jesus still showed up there. The revolution has always been heart-by-heart, not law-by-law.
4. A Problem of Pointing Fingers
   

   
   Christians have too long and too cruelly enjoyed the luxury of indulging in 'majority sins', protected by the lie that certain human sins are worse than others-- that all human brokenness isn't aching evidence of our collective and equalizing disconnect from God. If we loudly preach an ideal of marriage as a God-forged union between man and woman with and before Him while showing the world how easy it is to neglect, adulterate, and break those bonds, the curse falls on us all the more. My message to those valiant picketers: go home and love your spouse.
   
   
5. A Problem of Specifics
   Underlying all of these flaws is the basic one of what the Bible actually says.  The statutes listed are not against homosexual feelings, not against homosexual marriage, but against homosexual sex. Homosexual marriage would contribute both practically and culturally to a stabilization of relationships, contributing to a trend away from gratuitious sexual activity. That's right, gay marriage could and probably would reduce gay sex. 
   
   
   If writing out these flaws and re-thinkings of popular arguments has done anything for me, it's made me realize how silly it is to be this involved in other peoples' personal lives. My purpose was to take a closer look at the assumptions under this standard argument, and, as I feel I've accomplished that, I'm going back to minding my own happy business. Please, feel free to join me! 
   
   
   ~Ely